I do not want to delve into much of what I have been up to of late. And if there is anything you must know; I am trying to storm through adulting, not particularly making intentional mistakes but picking up lessons to hold my hands to a safe place.
It seems the year has been slow and I am grateful for that. I would have appreciated faster months because of my service year and the eagerness to experience change, to breathe in a different kind of air, to change my environment. I will not describe these first few months as a roller coaster though, rather it has been more like a film. Only, I cannot rewind or take it forward. I am watching while observing the latest happenings. The knowing that I cannot figure everything out at once while embracing this moment. This now and taking it all in.
Read also: the first post this year- a year in retrospect
From conversations about procrastination to dialogues about consistency and commitment, I owe it to myself to take up space. My mental health has never been an issue but when it feels like I’m getting choked, I take a chill pill (sometimes, an overdose of those, I guess) getting used to the otherness of what is and what is not.
While being precocious about certain aspects of my life, such as my career, health, and self (a whole story for another day) I am finding more and more, the need to be calm while going for what I want instead of leaving them to unknown options and luck.
your story is what you have, what you will always have. it is something to own – an excerpt from becoming (Michelle Obama)
Without the need to accumulate any baggage or worries, it feels like there are some things that are better figured out on your own and when you ask questions, it is to know more or to know about the stuff you are unaware of, doing so with the simple reason that you desired to share those worries or seek answers different from what you knew. This has been my process of late. Not to care much about other people’s opinions. And when persons ask me if I am fine or not, without much explanation or narration, I would add, ‘with a touch of pride or maybe certainty’, that I am fine. With the certainty that time will push us all forward.